I’ve been moving too fast. Ever since Imbolc, and the completion of my deep Winter creative project, I’ve been rushing forward without a clear sense of direction. Movement for movement’s sake, really. Last week, just before I was set to undergo another intense creative project, my body gave out under the pressure.
Illness struck hard. My temperature rose to 102 degrees with little warning, and my corners and edges began to ache. Sweat to chill and back to sweat again; this would be my pattern for days. There would be no working; no business. I was down for the count.
I did not meditate or practice my morning devotional for the first 3 days I had the flu. It was the only time since I began my discipline that I’ve taken this long away from my altar. I put that work aside, trusting that there would be no severe spiritual repercussions from taking a few down days (I don’t think The Kindred work that way). When I returned to it, I felt weak. Lost. Uncertain of what this setback meant. I was upset that I’d been unable to keep up my pace. And, as it turns out, keeping up the pace may be the problem.
My great grandmother showed up again yesterday. She came with the message that if I don’t slow down – if I don’t rest even more than I think I am – I will miss an opportunity. I won’t be prepared for it. This isn’t unlike her last communication, so apparently I haven’t gotten the message yet.
The idea of releasing the need to make everything move forward is a bit scary. I think I’m motivated to action – in my spiritual work and in my career – by the fear that if I stand still everything will fall apart. Then I get the message from an Ancestor – stand still. I’m not sure I know how to do that.
I call out to all of my friends in the blogosphere with this inquiry:
How do you do it? How do you slow down? Any tips for a movement-addict?