After speaking with my husband, the one personal who knows intimately what I can and cannot juggle, I’ve decided to remove my name from the ballot. Childlike excitement aside, this position should be filled by someone who knows that they can commit the time, and I can’t do that. I can offer my enthusiasm now, and I have the heart for it, but I’d do all of ADF a disservice if I took the position and then was unable to fulfill my duties. It would be better for me to continue, to the best of my ability, to reach out in a spirit of fellowship to other ADF members, and leave the responsibility of coordinating them to someone with a more reliable schedule.
This morning I volunteered to be nominated for the position of Coordinator of the ADF SolSIG, or Solitary Special Interest Group.
A week ago, when members of the Solitary SIG were approached about the position opening, I reluctantly passed. A part of me, the eternal seven year old, wanted to say “YES, YES! Pick me! Pick me! I can do it! Let me show you!”
But, the grownup won out.
November through January are typically lighter months for me. I do more reading, more writing; I retreat inward and experience an expansion in my esoteric studies, my spiritual life. As the Wheel turns and the air gets warmer, so speeds up the pace of my profession. I’m never really sure how busy I will be, or how much time I’ll have from February on.
The seven year old in me doesn’t think about these sorts of things. He only wants to make friends, be his best, be loved.
But then the e-mail came this morning, and I saw that there was still a need for nominees. I changed my mind. I told the Solitary SIG that I would submit my name for the ballot.
Why, if I’m trying to be a grownup, trying to take on only what I think I can handle, would I do such a thing?
Simple. I find evidence of The Kindred in the lives of my fellow human beings. Through others, I see myself, and I remember that I am connected to them, they to me, and us to the Cosmos. I love people, and I long for everyone’s spirit to expand in their lives. They deserve it, and I would like to help in whatever way I can.
So, my name is on the ballot. I don’t know if I will be chosen to serve, but if I am I hope to bring this spirit of love and fellowship to the position. I will stand in service to my fellow seekers, and to The Kindred, if it be their collective will for me to do so.